When I was younger, I was a very bitter person. I felt like I had been dealt a bad hand in life, with a lack of a father figure I felt alienated from other kids at school when it came to things like sports and other “typical manly activities”. I wanted desperately to feel like I wasn’t an outcast or weird because of the situation I was raised in but felt fake trying to fit in with other guys playing sports and things like that. I think because of this I started to look for outside communities that I could fit in without having to change myself to try and fit in. In this search I found two communities with a massive overlap, punk rock and skateboarding. I finally felt like I had found my group, and that I could be myself without judgement. I would go every Friday to the skatepark and spend the other days skating in parking garages and around my town blasting punk music through my iPod feeling free to do whatever I wanted. I was an angsty teenager unsure about the world and even though I felt most vulnerable and hurt at the time, I was able to find a feeling on invincibility and youth through punk music and skateboarding that nothing beforehand had ever given me.
Eventually I started listening to the band blink182 and as I listened, I realized a lot of the songs were about divorce and dealing with the emotional damage that can have on kids. I specifically related heavily to the song “Stay Together For The Kids” a song based around a poem written by Tom Delonge (the singer and guitarist for blink182) amidst his own parents divorce. I strongly related to and felt the anger and sadness the song presents in discussing his parents divorce. At the time I had very little understanding of why my parents had split and felt that maybe if they had stayed together I would have had a happier and more stable life, and now looking back on it I understand that wasn’t the case but still have a strong emotional connection to the song as it helped me as I struggled in my formative early teenage years. I was still an angry kid who was misguided as to why he should be angry, but at least I didn’t feel alone in those feelings anymore and it gave me a great amount of comfort hearing about someone else having those same thoughts and anger. It felt amazing to be understood even if I had at the time no understanding of my own situation. I was able to go out to skate and escape the feeling of loneliness and alienation, and I was able to experiment with filming skate videos, which would later lead to my passion for filming skits and other short videos with my friends.
At the local skatepark “Stay Together For The Kids” was in the rotation of the playlist for the music they played over loudspeakers causing me to further associate it with a feeling of acceptance as I built friendships skating around and having the time of my life. I also was introduced to new bands from watching blink182 interviews, one of which was Nirvana, a band that forever changed my life. As I transitioned through middle school to high school, I grew less angry with the world and my parents and gained a new more positive outlook on life I still had a great appreciation for the music that brought me comfort when I felt most isolated. I learned to love who I was and to love the people around me for who they were through this more accepting community and it really helped me to expand my views to be more empathetic. I became a better person as I grew to understand other people’s situations better and I attribute that heavily to my influences from skateboarding and punk rock. I was able to see other people struggling around me when I went out skateboarding and always tried to take care of my friends and became more aware of the struggles of others.
Moving forward to just two months ago I was able to see blink182 live with my friends from high school where I had better adjusted to life and really grown as a person. I had spent my summer hanging out with said friends and was extremely excited when my Friend Maddy asked if anyone wanted to go see blink182. I had nearly gotten the chance to see them the year before, but my mom had given out the ticket she had to the festival right before I decided on going. So, when I found out they were touring with Lil Wayne and coming to my city I was extremely happy. It was odd because it also showed the way my music taste had grown from punk rock into rap music. It was nice merge of two main musical interests I’ve had thus far in my life. As the concert started with the opening band Neck Deep I wasn’t really into it as I didn’t know any of their songs and wasn’t vibing with it. Lil Wayne’s set was great, and I had so much fun singing along and dancing with friends. Then when the blink set started, I was surrounded by the music of my early teenage years and I was so happy to sing along and jump into the mosh pit alongside my friends. I felt free as I threw myself around in the mosh pit with other people who had grown up listening to their music and really were enjoying themselves. I was in pure bliss hearing the songs that had formed my musical tastes and lead to me becoming further interested in politics as I stood alongside my friends I had spent the whole summer hanging out with every night. I felt truly accepted and happy with life for those two hours and had a feeling of being content afterwards having seen one of my favorite bands of all time.
I was able to find acceptance and to grow as a person with the influence of blink182’s music and the skateboarding/punk rock community. I grew as a person through the paths it sent me down and through the messages provided in the songs themselves. I no longer felt isolated by my parents divorce and was able to cope with my mixed and confused feelings through the song “Stay Together For the Kids”. I found a way to vent my aggressions through punk music and skateboarding and to later on turn those aggressions into more productive things such a politics. The unity of all different kinds of people in those communities expanded my empathy and helped me to learn to become a better person. I began to have greater concern with other people than myself and was able to realize the privilege (and also lack of privilege in some circumstances) I had and the advantage it gave me and how I should use that to help others. I met some of my best friends from skateboarding and punk music, and it lead me to future hobbies such as film and new music tastes such as Nirvana which would change my life forever. Throughout my life I have come back to listening to blink182 when I need to feel comfort in a band I already know and have good memories of, a band that allowed me to grow as a person and let out my teenage angst.
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